Going to a winery with friends is a very fun experience. Once the first bottle is consumed, the stories get better and more colorful. Here are some industry jokes to share when appropriate. Remember,…it’s all about the delivery!!

Wine Jokes


I’m a wine enthusiast.

The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.

I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.

It’s a Bordeaux collie.

I was sitting with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine,

when she said, “I love you so much, you know!

I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”

I said, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

She said, “It’s me talking to the wine.

Bald Man Drunk Cartoon Illustration Isolated on White

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full.

There’s clearly… room for more wine.

What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing,… it just let out a little wine.

The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine:

Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.

If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing,… give it mouth-to-mouth.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball

Q..What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy?A.. $100 bill.

Meals served without wine are rarely worth eating

Bald Man Drunk Cartoon Illustration Isolated on White

Wine is the most nutritional beverage on the planet.

It also makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, smarter, funnier and a champion dancer.


Sometimes I take baths, because it is harder to drink wine in the shower

Wine does not have the calorie count written on the label, so I am going to take that to mean it doesn’t  have any.